urban:eve

creative living | everyday solutions

Selfies & self-confidence

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Are you the kind of person whose old family photos show you ducking behind the sofa, covering your face with Granny’s cat pillow, or jumping right out of frame, only your sneakers and jeans (horizontal, up in the air) signalling that you were present?

For most of my life, I wasn’t a fan of being photographed.

Only a few years ago did I realize that who was taking the photograph and how confident I felt to appear on that picture in the first place had a lot to do with it.

Starting to take selfies every once in a while actually helped me redefine my relationship to appearing on photos – I found that if I’m framing the shot, and I select which picture I keep and what I use it for, I not only feel better about taking the picture but gives me a big self-confidence boost. (And the act of willing to press the button is even more important than the image.)

So when I hear about how “selfie culture” is destroying all things sacred and dear, I just shake my head.

When talking about taking a photograph of yourself, a lot is said about social media and “like hunting”, and very little is said about self-empowerment and confidence. Also, there’s a real added benefit to preserving your own image so you can remember yourself as you were at a certain part of your life — the importance of which is something I recently discovered as I revisited the December Daily scrapbook albums I made just a few years ago. (And of course, I am making a new one right now as well!)

So when my good friend Lana over at Brighton Digital Women asked me for a short interview about what I thought about the topic, I gave her my selfie-philosophy (or selphilosophy, if you will). You can read it over on their site here.

If you’d like to create some memories as you prepare to close off this year but others taking photos of you makes you want to run out of the building, get out your phone, or get an Instax (I love mine!), and just play around for fun. Try it out and let me know how it went. :)

Also, if you missed this year’s Christmas Planner, click here to download it. It’s 38 pages of pure holiday planning goodness. Stress release guaranteed! :)

60 inspiring ideas to explore your creative side this autumn

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Creativity comes in many forms.

Sure, painting a picture, writing a story or cross stitching a bookmark are creative things to do. But creating art or indulging in a hobby are not the only ways to get your creative juices going.

It also takes creativity to make yourself at home in the world, and find wonder in your surroundings.

So this autumn, why not look at everyday things from a different angle, step into the unknown and let yourself find your way, or allow your childlike spirit to just enjoy the season as it is? With that in mind, here’s a few (and by few, I mean 60) ideas to make this autumn a fun and creative experience for yourself, or to share with a loved one, friends or kids.

My challenge to you

Reading inspiring ideas is one thing, but taking action is where the real benefits are.

As you read the list, pay attention to which idea makes you think “Ooh, I’d love to try that!” – and actually make plans to make that idea happen in the next couple of days. It’ll be a great way to reconnect with your creative side.

And if you can’t decide (or want the adventure to choose you), just give your mouse wheel a spin, and pick the first idea that catches your eye.

Follow your curiosity and let life surprise you. :)

The big list of 60 inspiring autumn ideas

  1. Go for a big walk in nature and collect colourful leaves. Try to create a gradient from green to red! Take breathe depths and enjoy the silence and that crunchy sound foliage makes when you walk.
  2. Is it chilly outside? Never a better time to roast something in the oven. How about chestnuts? Prepare some aloe vera for the impatient ones who are too eager and burn their fingers. (Just me? Alrighty then.)
  3. Tea al fresco. Grab a warm jumper and a wrap, brew some tea and drink it outside. You can also take your cuppa with you in a travel mug to a nearby park. Sit on a bench and watch the sun set.
  4. Create your own special autumn blend of essential oils to diffuse. Do you like citrusy scent, or warm, spicy aromas?
  5. Hooray for all the autumn fruit! Put grapes in a salad with crunchy leaves, mild cheese, and drizzle with some pumpkin seed oil. You can also add some walnuts. Great for a quick lunch, especially if you pack a few slices of sourdough as well. Let’s not forget about pears! Sprinkle the slices with some cinnamon and eat as is. Or with some greek yoghurt… or added to your porridge. Hello, apples! Make a hot apple soup, add them to thick pancake batter (grated), or put them sliced into sandwiches with brie and rocket.
  6. Never miss a chance to catch some rays. Walk for a few minutes to enjoy the sunshine. Don’t forget about SPF though, UV is constant all year round.
  7. Create colourful, happy secrets! Buy a pair of really silly socks — loud patterns, flamingos, foxes, stripes or polka dots. Anything goes! This will be your secret happiness weapon in rainy days. No one will know but you. You can also do this with cheeky underwear. Sparkly or sexy, it all depends on you. I always do amazing in my cupcake pants! Is it too cold to bare your toes? Who cares? You can still paint them and use the happiest nail polish colours you have. Add some glitter and imagine you’re sending happy vibes whenever you wiggle your toes in your boots.
  8. Do you still have some metallic temporary tattoos? You can still use them, but you don’t have to stick them on your body. Instead, decorate a notebook or your journal, or create custom postcards with happy messages. (For best results, try some top coat so the design stays put. You can also use clear nail polish.)
  9. Combat grey autumn days with a funny hat! Stripes, bobbles, bold colours — whatever makes you happy (& keeps your noggin warm). Yes, you may get some stares, especially from children. Be sure to smile back!
  10. Do you have a favourite spot outside — maybe a tree in a park or a bench by a river? Start a new photo series by documenting it in every season. Take the first picture and you’ll have the opening, autumn shot! Add a reminder to your calendar to do this again in Spring.

  1. Create your own Ex Libris stamp and mark all your favourite books. If you don’t want to carve your own, you can buy custom ones with your name on Etsy.
  2. Gather your friends who love to bake and make a big batch of muffins, cupcakes or cookies. Create care packages for homeless people — don’t forget to also pack a warm sock, toiletries (wet wipes, soap, toothpaste) and especially sanitary products, because periods don’t ask if you’re ready to have them, they just come. Go for a walk in your neighbourhood and give the packages for people in need.
  3. Bundle up, go for a hike and collect conkers, pine cones, acorns and make an autumn wreath.
  4. Explore your own town! Visit Tripadvisor or Yelp, and find the best places. You don’t have to leave town to go on a holiday.
  5. Bake the best jacket potato ever! Create your delicious monster with all your favourite trimmings. Experiment with spices, condiments, veggies, cheeses, pickles, smoked salt…
  6. Find an interesting lecture you can attend for free at a nearby university. Take notes and enjoy broadening your horizons.
  7. Make soup out of the leftover veggies and some potatoes and onions. Add spices, a dash of cream, and blend. Serve with croutons, cheese and fresh herbs. Bam, you have your lunch sorted.
  8. Hoods with animal ears are the best. If they’re on a onesie, they’re even better. Cozy up with a warm jumper or an oh-so-soft dressing gown.
  9. Churches have amazing acoustics, and whether you’re religious or not, listening to live music at a church can be a truly soul-lifting experience. Look for concerts near you! Sometimes they do jazz concerts in churches, I love them the most.
  10. Melt all your old candle waxes into a brand new big candle. You can buy wick at fabric shops or hobby shops.
  11. If you need quiet and maybe some guidance, take a walk in a cemetery. It doesn’t matter if you have no relatives resting there. You can think of your loved ones wherever you are. Light a candle in their memory.
  12. Work on a short story together with your friends or family! You can also do it as a couple, but the more the merrier. :) First, pick a format – a travelling journal, GoogleDocs or a separate group chat. The latter is good if you live in different countries but still want to do this together. :) Then decide the pace your story is going to grow, for example, when it’s their turn, everybody adds one or two sentences. You can also decide on the main theme of the story. Remember not to contradict each other, whatever someone else wrote is part of the universe of the story and you shouldn’t backtrack. (Or, as they say in improv circles, accept all ideas and just add to them — yes, and…).  If you want to work on your story alone, you still don’t have to be completely on your own — NaNoWriMo is on every November. Join the fun and meet new friends!

  1. Do you stress a lot and have trouble sleeping? Create your ultimate sleepy time rescue: a playlist you can listen to every night. Pick calming songs (I like these) or you can also add some ‘sounds of nature’ tracks if that’s more your thing. Sprinkle a few drops of lavender to your pillowcase and take deep breaths. After a couple of nights, even hearing the first few notes will make you yawn.
  2. Most people invade the gyms in January, so you still have plenty of time to use the empty-ish classes to your advantage. Start a membership, or go for a swim, you might even have the pool to yourself. You can also move your body at home — there are plenty of amazing YouTube channels to chose from, like Yoga with Adriene and Blogilates with Cassey Ho. And if nature makes you happy, go outside for a brisk walk. You don’t have to break records or lose a lot of weight, just start moving because it helps you in so many ways — you’ll sleep better and it will clear your head.
  3. If you know the sniffles are coming, stock up your medicine cabinet with everything you need from painkillers to nose sprays and throat lozenges. Make sure you have enough ginger tea and honey at home and don’t forget to book your flu jab if you haven’t yet!
  4. The majority of hugs last for only 3 seconds, which is a shame, considering happiness hormones are stimulated only after 20 seconds. So throw your arms around your people (& pets), time for group hugs or bear hugs and all the cuddles you can imagine. Enjoy being part of the pack!
  5. Do a Q&A with people you love! Ask someone 20 years your senior about their favourite music, books, foods. Then ask someone 20 years younger than you! Interview your relatives and family members. Just listen and record their memories. You can also answer your own questions. Keep the answers safe in a journal, and return to the questions every year to see how you’ve changed!

  1. Before you buy the seasons hottest new lipstick shade, raid your make-up collection and try to find something similar. You can also mix two or three shades together to have your unique colour. Also try this ‘shop your closet’ method with your nail polishes, clothes and perfumes. Use what you have, and if you still need to buy something, at least it will be totally justified.
  2. Is your skin itchy and dry this season? Create a hydration station with soothing balms, lotions, face masks and body butters. After taking a shower, head straight to your H2O HQ and lather up. You can set it up by your bed, on your dresser, or if you have space, in the bathroom. It just has to be in reach and not so far that you have to make a detour for it. Otherwise, you’ll just skip this step. :)
  3. Hard day at work? Make yourself a cheeky bath, complete with bubbles, sprinkles and even a rubber ducky. I don’t care how old you are, a bubble bath never goes out of style. :)
  4. Pick up a new habit that will help kickstart goals next year. You still have plenty of time left to start working on something better for your life!
  5. Throw a Halloween film night with all the classics. I’m not a fan of slasher films, but I’d watch Hocus Pocus, The Rocky Horror Picture Show or The Addams Family any day. Make real popcorn in a pan instead of microwaving it and serve it with real butter. Another classic. :)
  6. All the pumpkin! Squash risotto, grilled pumpkin, pumpkin pie, pumpkin seeds in your salad. Let the star of the season shine!
  7. Not a fan of all the Halloween hoo-ha? No worries. Keep your lights off and watch old movies at home. Or go away for the evening for a non-Halloween themed event. Or dress up as a steampunk Catwoman on the 29th just to confuse everyone.
  8. Write a poem about how you feel right now, or even about some silly thing that happened today. Maybe you saw a pigeon stealing some food? Perfect, write about that. It doesn’t have to be ‘good’. It can rhyme though if you want it to. :)
  9. Grab your wellies, a raincoat, and go find the splashiest puddle around! I don’t care if you’re not three anymore. It’s still fun!
  10. As a sewing project, make yourself a shopping bag and use it to buy something lovely at the market.

  1. You don’t have to go back  to school to enjoy a good stationary haul. :) Pretty pens, scented erasers and pastel highlighters make your notes a delight to look at. And when it comes to being organized, pretty definitely does help, since colours and symbols make it easier to skim through your notes and find what you’re looking for. Also, just looking at your task list could be a happier experience. So add a sparkly sticker to a random event or task, colour code your lists, and get working.
  2. Try out new hairstyles you can do without cutting your hair. Learn a new braiding technique or updo, or master the curling iron. If you mess up and your hair looks like a nest, snap a silly selfie in the name of ‘not taking ourselves seriously’. :)
  3. Set up a welcoming corner in your entrance hall — family photos, a comfy slipper, an inspiring quote — anything that reminds you that yes, you’re finally home and you belong here. Your home is a place you can recharge in, and this will start as soon as you enter the door.
  4. Buy a magazine for teens and reminisce of olden days when your biggest problem was sticky lipgloss and having a crush on your classmate. Send love and compassion back in time to your awkward teenage self, and if you can, express empathy for current teens and all their worries (which are valid btw).
  5. Start a collection of old pins and brooches. Go treasure hunting in charity shops and vintage boutiques. Add them to your denim jackets or dainty cardigans.
  6. If you’re a novice crochet-fan and doing a big project is too daunting, practice your hooks on smaller things: you can crochet skinny headbands for working out or washing your face. If you make them wider, they can be good ear protectors when the chilly winds come in. :)
  7. Rearrange the furniture in one of the rooms to make it fresh. You can switch just a couple, or do a whole mirror flip. Be careful not to bump into anything while you get used to the new setup!
  8. Most people have Vitamin D deficiency, and even if you grab every opportunity to catch some rays, you still might have to take supplements, especially in the darker seasons. So follow the sun, use SPF, and talk to your GP about supplements. It might help you get better sleep and be in a better mood! :)

  1. Eat fresh, warm bread with butter. If you baked it, even better. Find the best bakery in your neighbourhood and support them. Good bread is amazing.
  2. This season is far from just being grey! Take a walk and notice the colours all around you: the pinks and purples of sunsets, the oranges and browns of leaves… and when the sun comes through, everything sparkles.
  3. Keep a pack of cards in your bag and start an impromptu game during lunch break. Never a dull moment!
  4. Google birds, animals and flowers that inhabit your neighbourhood. Try to take a picture of them in person, or create sketches, drawings of them based on photos. Practicing your florals will come useful later — you can decorate your journal, notes, or envelopes with a few dainty leaves and bulbs! :)
  5. If you have a pottery place nearby, you can decorate your own mugs or even a whole set of dishes. Add a few polka dots, funny quotes or dynamic patterns. It doesn’t have to be perfect!
  6. Kiss in the rain with someone you like to kiss with (and vice versa, obviously). Of course, you can stand under an umbrella. If you prefer to get soaking wet, however, after you’re done, rush home for a hot bath or shower. Give each other foot massages and a nice rub. Warming up after a storm together is one of those autumn moments you can treasure forever.
  7. Attend a cooking class to learn something fancy — making sushi, wine pairing, all about bean-to-bar chocolate… Even if you’ll never make the newly learned recipes weekday staples, you now know more about food and can appreciate good cuisine even more.
  8. Host a casual charity luncheon at your place — start a Kiva group with your friends, support the UNHCR, or a local charity of your choice.
  9. Surround yourself with woodland creatures — they’re everywhere from socks to notepads. Whether your fave is the fox, owl, hedgehog, squirrel or deer, you’ll find something cute with a woodland motif that will make you smile.
  10. Find the perfect backpack, even if you’re not a big hiker. It’s good for your back, you can balance an umbrella and your shopping bag in your hand, and you can bring your laptop or camera with you. Don’t forget to take it off and keep it in your lap when you go on a bus or train, it’s too easy to punch someone in the nose with a heavy rucksack. Not fun.
  11. Order new business cards whether you have a business or not. If you meet someone at a playdate, in a queue or wherever, having a small card with your contact details & a picture will make your introduction even memorable. Especially if it’s an event with a crowd. If you have a blog or a website, definitely include your URL! I can speak from experience that most people ask for an URL when they hear I run a blog, and business cards make everything even more fun. :) My favourites are these MiniCards from moo — they are the best value for money, and a 100-pack lasts a long time.
  12. Make movie night even more awesome: pick a period drama, something based on a true story or someone’s life. Read more about the topic on Wikipedia, find interviews, pictures and articles online, and dive deep.
  13. Collect pebbles and draw mandalas, faces or quotes on them. Use the small ones as decoration, lucky charms or if you found (& decorated) a big one, you have a new doorstopper!
  14. Start building a bird feeder for winter. Contact your local bird society to ask about what you could put in your feeder and when to put it out. Wait for your first guests, and if you’re stealthy, you can even snap a few pics as proof.

Now it’s your turn!

Which of the above ideas really resonates with you? Which are you going to do? Which have you tried already? Let me know in the comments below! :)

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Creativity comes in many forms. Here are 60 inspiring autumn ideas to find wonder in your surroundings and make yourself at home in the season.

How to keep moving towards your goals when the going gets rough [Podcast Episode]

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It was a few days before I turned 14.

My parents had just left on a trip, and as I waved them off, I already had plans in place for what I would do later that night.

Soon enough, I turned the lights off, turned the computer on and waited patiently for the 33.6kbps modem to finish its ritual song. (“Pidoom pidoom piii-khrrrrrr!”)

Then, I got to work.

By 7 a.m. the next morning, I was ready to press “Publish” on the website – the first of many to come – that I had spent all night coding by hand.

It was 1999. Before WordPress, before drag & drop and plugins and widgets, it was even before Windows XP. Back then, you either knew how to code or you didn’t have a website.

And I wanted one.

I went deep into the source code of websites I liked to figure out what all those duckbills did (these guys: < >). From then on, I spent all my free time after school to make stuff I saw on my PC screen look like the image I had in my head. Over the years, I got better at it — constantly learning, practising my writing, editing, learning new ways to code, and not giving a damn about learning Flash (which today I thank my intuition for!).

18 years and tens of millions of page views later, I now run an online course business in two languages with 3,000 students, so those hours were well worth my time and energy. But it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing, and back then I had no idea I would end up here.

The point of the story is this:

That single night back in 1999 was pure magic. I had the momentum, I had the motivation, I had the will, and I had no distractions so I could work on the thing I wanted more than anything.

In the 18 years since then I never had a night like that ever again.

I had glimpses of it, yes, and also different types of momentum, but this perfect storm of presence, will and energy never came back. I don’t know if it ever will. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. I know I don’t need it to be exactly like that to get where I want to be.

Because if I had waited for the momentum to come back to start working on a project, I would never have achieved anything in my life.

Real success doesn’t come overnight

I started urban:eve in 2008, almost a decade after I ventured out onto the wild wild web. I was 22, at university (as an English major), freshly engaged and in my first own home. All I wanted was to create a space to share the things I was figuring out after moving away from my parents — I wrote about how to clean a toilet, how to cook quick & tasty meals that don’t break the bank, what nail polish I was in love with at the time.

There was no strategy behind the blog, and it wasn’t meant to become a career or to sustain my livelihood. It was a hobby I deeply cared about. One I couldn’t NOT do.

It took a year of writing to reach 81 daily visitors, and on one of the many bad days I could have easily thrown in the towel and declared the project a bust. But my need to share was stronger than my fear of “will anybody even like this“. So I kept writing and pressing publish each and every time. Month by month, year by year, my small community grew until one December I had 150 000 people visit the site.

By 2011, I had my own company based on the blog. I got invited to TV and radio, to write a magazine column, to write a book – a real, hardcover one that would top the Personal Development bestseller charts of Hungarian booksellers. In 2015 I released my first online course, and two more since then.

For a lot of people, I seemingly came out of nowhere. But it didn’t happen overnight. It took a thousand steps, one after the other.

It had to begin with me, hand coding that little website, starting from zero, learning and growing every day. I had to keep on moving, not letting setbacks become the end of my story, instead, I made them stepping stones in my journey.

And now I’m doing it all over again. See, all the above — the blog, the business, the book — was in Hungarian. And now I’m doing the same thing in English — here, on the English incarnation of urban:eve. At first, of course, nobody read this either. But if you are reading this, I’ve already made progress, and I thank you for being here.

And you know that little voice from so long ago, the one that says “what if nobody even likes this“? That’s still here, and I don’t think it will ever go away. But as long as my will to keep writing is stronger, I know I will be fine.

A toolset for the harder times

I know this truth through growing my blog, but it’s true for any career or life path: whatever your goals are, you will have hard times. And, every once in a while, life will throw curveballs that tip you off balance.

In times like that, it’s hard to muster up the momentum, motivation, and will you need to move forward. And it’s easy to get stuck and feel like the only thing you can do is give up.

Common self-help lingo has little to offer other than telling you to “Just do it!”, or “Keep going!”, and that’s not really helpful when you don’t know the “how”. You need specific tools you can turn to so you can get yourself back on track — or just off the ground.

These tools are what I talked about this week on the latest episode of Dare To Dream Bigger, a podcast run by author and business mentor Clare Josa. Clare has spent the past 15 years working with entrepreneurs all over the world, and last year, she asked me to share my journey in her book. On the first anniversary of the book’s release, Clare invited me to talk more about my journey, the “overnight success” 18 years in the making, and how I keep working towards my goals even when the going gets rough.

In the episode, we talked about:

  • Why anger is actually more useful than apathy when you’re stuck
  • Why your definition of ‘success’, ‘happiness’ or ‘your role in life’ can’t come from anyone but you
  • Why showing up and being visible is important even if you’re so scared you’re shaking
  • Why walking your path for a long time requires you to stay humble and keep reinventing yourself
  • The two sentences that have helped me get up from the floor over and over again
  • Why the common inspirational quote of “Just keep going” doesn’t work when you’re truly stuck — especially when you’re in the middle of a big life change
  • What questions to ask yourself when you’re stuck in your Swamp of Misery
  • Why you need be careful when selecting the people you share your goals and dreams with
  • The exact techniques we used to keep going when my husband & I implemented the biggest change in our lives — moving ourselves and our business 1500 miles from Hungary to the UK
  • Why it’s not selfish to be proud of yourself
  • How to avoid the comparison trap — and the one comparison that does matter and is healthy :)
  • And finally, why you shouldn’t try to avoid mistakes (and what to do instead)

(And while the episode is called “The Key to Overnight Success“, the point is how no real success comes overnight, but rather depends on whether you can keep going when the going gets rough.)

So if you feel like you’re in your personal Swamp of Misery and need a helping hand to climb out, or thinking about starting down a new path in life (like starting a side business, launching a blog, or chasing up a long-buried dream) and want to prepare for the road ahead, the tools in this podcast will help you in your journey.

You can listen to the podcast episode or download it to your device on Clare’s website, and you can also listen on iTunes.

As always, I’d love to know what you think! What’s the technique you’ll add to your “keep going” toolset? Let me know in the comments below. :)

And thank you for being here and being part of my journey. ♥

English is not my first language. Here are 5 things I’ll do when we meet.

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Hi there, nice to meet you, I’m Livia, I live in the UK and English is not my first language. Actually, it’s Hungarian. I lived in Hungary for the first thirty-one years of my life and was also taught German, Italian and some French at school. I first started learning English at the age of 5 when I spent 10 months in the US with my family and continued learning it through the years. Of all the languages I speak and understand, English is my second best, and I regularly think and dream in English. But it’s still not my mother tongue. Here are 5 things that I’ll do that might surprise you if we meet.

I’ll pick up your accent.

Yup. And it’s not even conscious. I honestly have no idea what my actual accent is because it always morphs to that of the person I’m speaking to. I’m not doing it to be rude or to mock them, it just sort of happens. But since I moved to the UK, I found I am picking up more UK pronunciations and leaving the US behind. It’s hard because those ten months in Ohio were in my formative language learning years and some of the accent and even some of the vocab is imprinted heavily on my brain. But now it’s evolving into a Sussex-Ohio mash-up. Hey, the main thing is that we can understand each other, right? :)

I’ll mix in some Hungarian words if I’m tired.

If you don’t understand what I’m saying, it’s definitely not you, it’s me. Speaking English tires me, though less and less with more practice. After moving to the UK, speaking constantly to someone in English even for a couple of hours felt like I had cotton balls in my mouth. I couldn’t properly enunciate and words slipped my mind. I still do that, and it makes me anxious to speak in an official setting (giving talks or interviews), but I am soldiering on because it’s the only way to progress.

Not remembering English words is a thing, relapsing into Hungarian is another. I do that as well if my brain is absolutely fried. Especially filler words, the equivalent of “so”, “or”, “I mean” and the like. Oh, and for the life of me, I can’t properly count in English. If I have to figure out what I have to pay, I always count in Hungarian in my head and, with a delay, translate that into English. Saying what I think comes almost instantly without translation, but numbers are my weak spot.

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Printable wall planners for October, November & December

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Pumpkin vibes for October, Scandi-inspired geometry for November, and pine & spices for December. This free printable calendar bundle will get you through the last quarter of 2017 with plenty of space for events, to-dos and notes.

Pumpkin vibes for October, Scandi-inspired geometry for November, and pine & spices for December. This free printable calendar bundle will get you through the last quarter of 2017 with plenty of space for events, to-dos and notes.

Click here to download

I like when things that help you get more organised are also pretty, this is why I design these wall planners with quirky motifs & happy colours. :) The daily boxes are also good for planning birthdays and parties. Use stickers or washi tapes to mark specific events or upcoming trips!

Use the space for notes to jot down a few things you want to do that month — not just errands, but fun stuff, things that make you appreciate the season! Write the month’s most important to-dos in the right box, so you don’t forget them.

How to use this type of planner: After you’ve downloaded the bundle, Pick the month you’re going to need right now. Print it in A4 and hang it on your wall (bonus points for matching washi tape) in the kitchen, next to your desk, or where it’s most visible. If you print it in A5, you can add it to your L-size filofax or planner! :)

Pumpkin vibes for October, Scandi-inspired geometry for November, and pine & spices for December. This free printable calendar bundle will get you through the last quarter of 2017 with plenty of space for events, to-dos and notes.

Click here to download

Happy planning!

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Clear out your task list with the Machete Sorting Technique

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If you’re constantly stressed out by the amount of tasks you have…

If just looking at your to-do list feels like facing an oncoming avalanche…

If you can’t figure out what to prioritise…

If you’re overcommitted there’s never enough hours in the day…

If there’s always too much on your plate, no matter how hard you try…

Then read on. I’ve got you covered with a free mini-course that helps you create a manageable to-do list and get instant relief from the nagging feeling you get from never reaching the end of your tasks.

I know exactly what it feels like to be overwhelmed by options, tasks and expectations. When I started my adult life well over a decade ago, I had very little time to figure out how to juggle university with housework and freelancing so I could pay the rent.

Fast forward 13 years, and I’m now balancing running blogs in two languages and the online course business I run with my husband.

Things never got simpler. I just got better at it.

As the first, Hungarian incarnation of urban:eve started growing, I soon learned just how many people are out there struggling with the same type of overwhelm that I experienced.

Over the years I got e-mails from hundreds of people paralysed by the amount of things on their plate — especially when there was a deadline looming on the horizon. Many of them were wearing too many hats: they had a job, managed a family, had partners, friends, hobbies, and maybe even a side hustle or two.

So I started digging to the core of the problem and the tool that came out of the process was the Machete Sorting Technique.

The Machete Sorting Technique is a simple, 4-step method that will help you hack away at your task list and clear the shrubs from your path in just 15 minutes, so you can finally start to gain clarity and untangle yourself from the grasp of overwhelm.

After getting feedback from thousands of people who have applied the Machete Sorting Technique to their lives, I am confident that if you do this short exercise, your to-do list will become more manageable, and there’s a good chance you’ll also get a long-overdue breath of fresh air.

And you don’t have to take my word for it. Here’s what some of the people who’ve already used the technique told me when I asked for their honest opinion:

This is the first time I’d dumped my brain on a piece of paper. It was so weird to see all my tasks in front of me, but it felt great to see everything find its place as I went through the sorting questions. They don’t scare me anymore.
— Mónika Z.

First, my partner didn’t get why I insisted on doing this in the morning, after a night shift, with the kids running around. When I showed him my notes, he stopped criticising. I successfully reduced my plans for the next few days and they’re now actually achievable. Thank you!
— Eszter S.

I almost didn’t do it, I was so afraid that I’d have to admit to myself that the reason I don’t spend time on rest and working out is not that I don’t have time but because of mental blocks and my perfectionism. But then I got through it and realised that I do actually have time to spend on myself. I’m so relieved!
— Zsófia V.

I was behind with everything when I found the Machete Technique, and after I was done, I finally saw what was important and what I could put off until later. I still get swamped by tasks sometimes, but I can now get the Machete out and sort through everything in minutes. For me, this method is super effective.
— Anita K.

Sounds interesting? Sign up below (it’s free!) and I’ll walk you through the steps.

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Busting the 6 Biggest Planning Myths

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planning myths

What if all the most basic rules of planning – the ones you KNOW to be true – aren’t true at all?

For any area of life, “the rules” float around in the back of our head.

The kind of rules that only register as true because we’ve heard them so many times we don’t question them anymore.

Rules like “success is when you have a big house and a Ferrari”. Or “a woman is only acceptable if she weighs less than X” (where X equals whatever the magazines say this season).

And when it comes to how people organise their day-to-day life, the rules are beliefs about:

  • what an organised person does
  • what an organised person is capable of
  • what are the “rules” of being organised
  • what “organised” actually looks like.

But are these actually true if you take a closer look?

And if they aren’t, why let them hold you back?

Over the past 9 years of working with and developing flexible planning systems, I’ve talked to hundreds of people about what they struggle with when it comes to planning and time management.

Ironically, I’ve found that these planning stereotypes are not only everywhere, they actually keep people from being organised.

The truth is that no one should stick to a system that someone else is trying to force on them.

When it comes to managing your life, the best route is to find what system serves YOU the best, and then shape that system to fit your life. And if you don’t find one, you can mix and match and create an entirely new thing for yourself.

What tends to happen, unfortunately, is that these beliefs are there to sabotage anyone who dares to show up and wants to bring clarity to their time management. No wonder so many people give up after the first attempt: the first burst of motivation runs out, they’re overpowered by rules that don’t apply to them, everything just feels too overwhelming. And then it’s easier to just go back to business-as-usual, even if that involves chaos, anxiousness and never really getting from A to B.

With that in mind, I’ve collected the most universal planning myths a.k.a. the biggest blocks to a sensible and practical time management system.

And, since I’m all about being actionable, I will also show you how to deal with them.

Some myths you may already have heard yourself, some might be familiar, but you’ve never explicitly said them out loud (these beliefs are the sneakiest). Whether you’re a seasoned planner or you’re just starting out, you can take note of them for later, so when these thoughts crop up down the road, you can easily go “A-ha! I know you. You’re not real. Shoo.“

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25 fun date ideas so you can reconnect & deepen your relationship

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Spending quality time with the person you love is essential to keep any relationship going in the long term. These date ideas will help you reconnect..

Spending time with the person you love is essential to keep any relationship going in the long term.

But when you don’t count the non-quality time you spend together (and no, folding the laundry together doesn’t count), how much time do you truly spend with your partner?

Why it’s important to schedule dates – even in long-term relationships

I’ve been with the same individual since early 2000. We’ve lived together since 2005, and we also run our own company & work from home.

For any long-term couple, it becomes easy to mistake the hours we spend together for quality time.

Yes, we are in each other’s presence. Yes, we talk. But when we’re wearing our business-hats or running-the-household-hats, that’s not the same as having a chat or a laugh with someone you genuinely like.

So even if you’re great work colleagues and pro household managers, cutting down on relationship time – fun, active rest, shared adventures (even tiny ones), being together as human beings – chips away at the foundations that everything else in your relationship is built on.

So, in order to keep our foundations strong, we regularly schedule dates with each other with three simple rules:

No business talk, no money talk, no housework talk.

That’s it. Apart from that, what the ‘date’ actually is can be whetever we decide it to be. It can be just us at home watching something, walking on the beach, going to a gig, or laughing about some silly thing. The main idea is to listen to each other, to communicate, to have new experiences together and build the relationship we already have. As a welcome side-effect, we might fall in love over and over again with each other. :)

And it really doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for 2 years or 20. Dates are a great way to connect in any relationship, however well it’s established, and however long it’s been going on.

25 fun date ideas to deepen your human connection

With that in mind, here are 25 date ideas that are great for funny dates, summery weekends, or just spending quality time with the person you love, on any budget. The goal is to have fun, explore, talk, get to know each other (& yourselves) better.

Every relationship is different, and everyone’s schedule is different. So the list includes 30-minute mini-dates during the day or before bedtime, things you can do in small increments over a longer period of time, and slightly bigger adventures that help you explore your relationship more deeply.

Tip: You can also do these activities with your best friend, roommate or family member — they’re not limited to love interests! Modify them to your needs.

  1. Play chess in a park. Bring your own kit and outsmart each other. Aren’t Queens just the best? ;) You could also play table tennis or badminton.
  2. Read each other a bedtime story. You can pick your own childhood faves or try something recent that none of you’ve read before. There’s no age limit to stories! (Also, do the voices for bonus points.)
  3. If there’s a lake nearby, rent a boat and go on a (romantic) dinghy ride! (One of you being a cursed mermaid is optional. But definitely kiss if you feel like it.)
  4. Home spa for two! Bring out all the masks, light a scented candle and give each other foot rubs or back massages.
  5. Call each other up during the day, even if you work separately, just to talk a bit. Or send e-mails about your day, even if you’ve just talked and will see each other in a few hours. Add love notes and kissy faces to your heart’s content.
  6. If you can, visit each others’ childhood summer locations or hometowns together. If you’re too far away, try to do things you did when you were kids, to conjure the spirit of your long-gone summers. Visit the zoo, paddle in a pool, buy doughnuts on a pier…
  7. Learn the dance routine of a popular song – pick something you both really like. Next time you’re at a party or a wedding, you can be that couple. Just imagine your friends’ faces when you two start doing the whole Thriller or Single Ladies routine in perfect sync! :)
  8. If you both have a bus or train pass, travel on a line you never use normally. Go to the last stop together and see what’s there! Take pictures as if you’re on a fancy holiday.
  9. Learn something new together — use the wonder that is YouTube, or join a course. Do you want to learn to knit, make sushi, know more about wine or do pottery? Anything goes.
  10. Gather up your old Legos and build something together. You can also give each other challenges, for example, build something in 2 minutes, or do Lego charades, where the other one has to guess what you’re building.
  11. Take a picture of the other person and show them how you see them and what you love about them. Then they have to take a picture of you and do the same.
  12. Look around on Tripadvisor or Wikipedia, and add 5 destinations to your Wanderlust Wishlisht! Even if they’re out of reach (for now), daydreaming is fun, and planning these trips together can bring you closer together.
  13. Create theme nights based around the destinations you picked for your Wishlist! Even if you can’t pack and go immediately, you can create the vibes at home. Think The Godfather with spaghetti for Italy,  Annie Hall and hot dogs for New York, or Godzilla and ramen for Japan.
  14. Feed the birds — preferably ducks or pigeons. The seagulls can fend for themselves, believe me. Look for seeds specifically birds, some tolerate bread badly. If it’s really cold when you’re reading this, you two might want to build a bird feeder and watch the little chirpers (or squirrels) come from inside. :)

  1. Is it raining? Nevermind, have a picnic on the carpet or set up a small tent on your balcony or back garden! Prepare snacks, flashlights, books, card games…
  2. Wander in the woods, take a long walk in nature. Bring a blanket. Sit down and watch the clouds. Or birds.
  3. Plug in the oldest video game console you have, and reminisce on the good old days of platformers or PC games you last played ages ago. Try to remember the cheat codes.
  4. Visit a charity shop and buy old ‘choose your own adventure’ books or comic books to read together.
  5. Go and watch the stars at night. (If you live in a big city, you might have to travel a bit to a place where there’s less light pollution.) Try to recognise constellations (you can use an app or a map if you don’t know them by heart. Make a wish if you see a shooting star!
  6. Find an empty playground and play on the swings or slides or monkey bars. Be careful not to break anything.
  7. Want to watch a movie, but you have no idea what to watch? Check out Suggest Me Movie which uses the IMDB database to randomly generate something to your taste.
  8. Create your own superfood salad — add seeds, leaves, spices and a special dressing. When you’re done with your masterpiece, invite your friends over for dinner. You can also organise your own Come Dine With Me experience if there are more foodies in your circle!
  9. Buy a magazine or newspaper or grab a local free one you wouldn’t read otherwise. Find the weirdest headline and read them out loud.
  10. Look at old pictures of you two. Even if they are from last year, you might not remember everything. Reminisce and share stories that are your history now!
  11. Dance in the rain. Under the lawn sprinkler. At a festival. On the street. In the kitchen. To the radio. To a band playing live. To your own voices. To nothing in particular.

I hope these ideas will inspire you to go on a date with that special person — even if it’s just you two drinking tea together while the dog sleeps between you. :)

Do you know someone in a long-term relationship? Send them the link to this blog post! They’ll thank you for it. :)

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Spending quality time with the person you love is essential to keep any relationship going in the long term. These date ideas will help you reconnect.

You will never have more time – but here’s what you can do about it

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"Oh, if only I had more time, I could finally do that project." Wanting to have more hours in a day is a top wish for most people struggling with time management. Take responsibility for your most valuable resource with this simple mindset shift.

“Oh, if only I had more time, I could finally organise my apartment.”

“Oh, if I had more time, I would finally start that side business.”

“Oh, if I had more time, I would go to the gym and work out.”

“Oh, if I had more time, I could read the books on my nightsand.”

When I talk to people about what they think the #1 reason is that keeps them from getting ahead in life and doing the things they want, “I wish I had more hours in the day” tops the wish list.

The saddest part? I meet people who have struggled with this for many, many years. They are continually swamped, overwhelmed with endless to-do lists, and even when they do manage to come up for air, it’s just for a moment, and back down they go, the cycle of overwhelm starting over. Year on year on year, this can only lead to one place: burnout.

I’ve been down that road, and let me tell you: it’s not pretty.

So instead, today I want to talk about a hard truth. It’s just one sentence, but once you know it, it can transform how you think about your time.

Ready?

Here we go:

You will never have more time.

Okay, that sounds way too scary without the emphasis. Let me try that again.

You will never have more time.

You can only make more time.

Let me explain.

Free time is not a mystical gnome who appears on its own whim going, “Tally-ho, I’m here now, so you can go sleep, play with the kids, read, scrapbook and do all the entries on your “once I have time” list!“

In reality, if some of your time becomes free, tasks will always comfortably slide in there. There’s space, so they’ll fill it up. You will never run out of work to do (and that includes housework, errands and things to study). You will never be done. You can only stop working.

And that is exactly why the often repeated adages like “I’ll rest when I’m done” are misleading, or the other phrase that I hear used so many times for motivation but I find really insidious, which is “I’ll sleep when I’m dead“. No. Don’t be dead. I mean, we’ll all be once, but please, don’t die now. And especially don’t die from work.

So takeaway #1 is that your time is limited.

You have 24 hours a day, for who knows how long. Let’s hope there’s a lot of years and months and days to go, but however many it is, time is your only non-renewable resource.

Plus, it’s the only resource that you don’t know how much you have left of. Of course you can do things to extend it, but at the end of the day, you cannot be certain.

One thing you can do is manage the time you have – but remember that it’s something that only you can do. The sooner you take control of your own time and stop waiting for someone else to let you rest, to let you sleep, or to let you do what you really want to do, or tell you what will make you happy, the sooner will you have a life that you actually like living.

Takeaway #2: Since you’re the only one who can take control of your schedule and free up your time, if you don’t make more time, you will not have more time. Nobody else is going to do it for you.

make more time

Risks (that are worth it)

Taking control of your time and setting boundaries is hard. I get it. For one, when things go wrong, you can’t blame anyone else. And when things don’t turn out the way you want them to, there’s no one there to complain to.

But then, how frequently do things turn out the way you want them to when you leave all decisions about your life to other people?

The fact is when it comes to your needs, dreams and how much time you need to do them, you’re the only real expert. You have a much better chance of success to begin with if you are the only person you have to consult on your happiness goals — to get some well-deserved rest time, to draw the line between your work and personal life, to find your own ideal life balance.

When you have a clear idea of what’s best for you AND take steps to realise that idea, you will hear the familiar phrases: “not a team player”, “bossy”, “full of herself”.  (If you do this and you’re a man, you’ll be marked by phrases like “family-centric”, “ambitious”, or “a man who knows what he wants”, which does make it easier, but as the real barriers are internal, it’s still not a simple path.)

And there’ll be those who see your efforts and say “Oh, how lucky you are!” But by then you’ll know it’s not luck, and it’s not magic, but focus, work and hard decisions.

Either way, you’ll hear the detracting voices from outside, but don’t let that get in your way. You will never find a thing that everybody in the world will like and agree with. You are not a bad person for taking care of yourself. Your concern should be about whether you like how you live or not. And if you don’t, then you’ll know you have to change, no matter what anyone says.

Prioritising yourself is key to get stuff done. Free time will not magically appear for you to finally work on projects that are important to you.

A simple, two-step method you can start with right now

Here’s something that literally takes two minutes to do, and still marks a significant step towards better caring for yourself and your time.

STEP 1: Get your calendar (on your phone, on Google, on your desk, your planner, your filofax, whichever you use regularly)

STEP 2: Find a one or two-hour timeslot in the next week that you can block out just for yourself.

Easy, right?

Now comes the hard part: stick to that appointment with yourself, and don’t let anything except for a true emergency take it over.

And when that time comes, don’t be late! (It’s a date! ;) Put down whatever else you’re doing and spend those couple of hours with something that you know you’ve been sorely missing. Is it a workout? Is it a power nap? Is it planning? Is it a walk? Is it a conversation? Is it play? Is it a creative hobby? Is it a book? Is it dancing? I’m sure you have at least 3 things in your head already, so go and book that time with yourself!

If you find that your calendar is totally, absolutely, entirely full, then you have an extra challenge: find the single least important thing in there, something that you don’t want to do and you have no real obligation to attend. Then go ahead and decline it. You’ve just made a huge step forward in prioritising your needs.

Taking care of yourself is investing in your number one asset - and not selfish at all.

Congratulations! This is your first step in making self-care part of your time management strategy.

Of course, carrying out a mind shift in how you think about your time is not easy. With that in mind, I’ve collected the biggest myths about time management that hold you back from being in control of your time (and how to bust them).

And if you want a simple, tried-and-tested method that you can use in 15 minutes to gain clarity, cut down on your to-do list and untangle yourself from overwhelm, check out my newest free mini-training, The Machete Sorting Technique.

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When we live in the state of overwhelm, there's a hard truth we need to face. It's just one sentence, but it will transform how you think about your time.

The Indie Guide to Paris

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Any trip is better with good planning.

But as it turns out, that goes double for Paris.

Since we were kids we were fed the Paris stereotype, bit by bit, book by book, movie by movie. Even if you discard the obvious things, like how the Eiffel tower surely can’t be visible from every single bedroom window in the city, other things still remain that you think are true until you get there. This “Ideal Paris” somehow manages to unite cutting edge glamour with a rustic and alternative small town vibe.

Some of that is there, sure. But in reality, Paris is a very big city with some districts that are hip and modern, and others that are outdated, neglected and some even scary. Paris is not the town where you can randomly wander in anywhere without risking disappointment, but with enough planning, you can make it a great and unique experience.

When visiting anywhere in the world, I always aim to get a feel of the local culture beyond the basic tourist experience, while eating healthy and getting some great coffee along the way. With that in mind, below you’ll find my comprehensive Indie Guide to Paris with the result of my recent “field test” of places to visit and things to try if you want an experience past the Eiffel Tower and the Notre-Dame.

Paris as a long weekend getaway

Months ago a friend alerted us that Joe Hisaishi, legendary composer of the Studio Ghibli films, will conduct a symphonic concert in Paris. That’s something that happens once every five years and thousands of people line up to buy tickets online, so we had about 15 minutes to decide whether we can make it or not.

In these cases, the fact that I have my life and business planned way in advance comes in real handy. We took one quick look at our short-term and mid-term projects to decide whether we have the time and the funds to make this a long summer weekend, and in a couple of minutes, we reached a resounding YES and our tickets were booked (just in time – they sold out a couple minutes later).

It’s been 16 years since we’ve last been to Paris, so while it wasn’t totally new to us, much has changed. We only had a few days in town, so our plan was to get a laid-back Paris experience less about the big touristy milestones and more about getting the vibe of the place with lots of walks and exploration. With a bit of planning and a lot left to chance.

So we sat down and brainstormed a Paris must-dos list (similar to our summer top 10 list, but much more focused). Cliché or not, I wanted to get up close to the Eiffel Tower, and to recreate the photo we originally took at the Notre-Dame 16 years ago as a budding teenage couple. But other than these must-dos, I was not really interested in tourist hotspots, macarons or big name design houses – I wanted to explore the alternative side of Paris – what the new generation is doing around town to innovate and keep that artsy subculture thing going (Parisians were hipsters before hipsters were cool). So Shakespeare and Company landed on the very top of that list, and you’ll soon see why.

Since it was just a long weekend, we knew that we won’t have time for big museum trips, the Louvre or the Orsay (each would take us a full day to explore properly), and we also knew we wanted to eat well and get great coffee. Surprisingly, this turned out to be the hardest bit, which I’ll get into in a second. :)

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